If you think I will just sit around and wait for the yellow army to put me in jail after my term of office ends, you better think again. I have a plan….muahhhahahahaha….........
1. i need to get myself elected congresswoman of lubao pampanga and represent my district at the house of representathieves. this seat is practically in the bag for me, my almost every weekend trip to my future constituents in the past few months will not go unrewarded by my cabalens...di ba ne?
2. i also need to ensure the victory of my allies in that same house because their re-election is crucial to my plans. I see no problem there, they are not called "trapos" for nothing.
3. i would have to ask my chubby hubby, the ever reliable mr jose pidal to prepare the usual gift bags(with wads of cash inside) for my future colleagues...you know, like the gift bag that was given to among ed which the ungrateful priest wanted to return. of course, i would have to do this gift giving regularly to remind them who’s their boss, lest they forget. if any of you is thinking of jumping ship and joining the bandwagon, remember this my dear congressmen and congresswomen...when the yellow son gets himself elected chief executive, you’re not gonna get any gift bags from him, as in... never. so if you want the party to continue, you better toe the line and stick to the plan.
4. what’s next ? what else, I have to be the leader of the house, the speaker of the house of representathieves. You can call me, mrs speaker thank you. that title is sooo... me.
5. i have two options for number five. This one is not yet final, there are still some kinks that needs to be ironed out. all in good time…
the first option is to give the yellow son a dose of the same medicine given to his mom , saint cory, by JPE and his loyal soldier greg, with a little twist of course. coup-de-etat is soooo 80’s, impeachment is my weapon of choice, we have the numbers so victory is assured. different weapons, same goal. make the yellow son’s life miserable the entire time he is the chief executive, leave him no time to attend to the affairs of the government and make the people who elected him into office so frustrated they would never again think of putting another yellow blood in that office, ever. the problem with this option is, if I can get rid of the yellow son, there is a mr. padyak waiting in the wings to inherit the throne. which makes the second option more attractive...
the second option is for my house of representathieves to immediately start working on cha-cha. change our form of government, from the present presidential system to parliamentary. no need to court the pinoy voter to vote for me, i just need cash to buy my colleages at the house of representathieves and viola...i will be your leader for life. by then, you can call me... mrs prime minister, thank you very much. haaay, this country should be so lucky !. Now, all that sound so easy to accomplish…if not for the little matter called computerized election. Any change in the '87 cory constitution needs ratification… damn. saint cory is giving me a headache even in her grave!
anyway, in the meantime, i need to gather and consult as many evil minds as I can to craft the final plan. first on the list, JPE, the billionaire father of dagdag-bawas, the ultimate balimbing. Ronnie Puno, of the famed Sulo Hotel operations that nailed the presidency for FVR. Boss Danding , a former infamous crony, now a respected business tycoon and political kingmaker. not to mention the defeated presidentiables and their vp’s would only be too willing to help me in my plan, coz if they don’t, with the rise of the yellow son, then the likes of us would be doomed.
